The bigger they are, the bigger they fall.
This week WoL steps off the “doing better won’t save your season bench” to bring down TBS a notch despite the fact that WoL was without a QB. As much as WoL enjoyed our seat on the DBWSYSB also known as the “Todd Gurley Draft Award Bench,” WoL got a second wind and has new hope moving forward. Perhaps this is the worst thing that could’ve happened, because lets be honest, WoL’s team is horrible and this new found hope will undoubtedly be crushed this week.
In addition to TBS going down faster than Croppy at a TuckBob Halloween party, Fadi fell to Dunn and, because Gronk had his worst game of the season, team Taco (my wife associates herself with team Taco more than WoL – as I quote “I like to be a part of a winning team”) fell to Toner’s Boners; though, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why he is doing as badly as he is - his team is pretty well rounded. Nolan United reverted Throbby Johnson back to a Limp Dixon on the shoulders of Doug Marting and Aaron Rodgers. We now have one of the most congested standings this league has had in a long time. TBS is basically counting his money and Vandalay industries has undergone a hostile take over by Marriage Inc. and is inconsequential to the standings. That leaves 2 games separating 8 teams, and 3 games separating 10 teams. TBS plays VI next week, thus every other matchup has playoff implications.
Uncle Charlie’s it just tastes better award: De Andre Hopkins, who made Revis and the Jets look silly even with his 3rd stringer QB. Hopkins, who Fadi got in the 3rd round, is second only to Julio Jones for highest scoring WR this year and is anchoring Fadi Goes Viral in a solid 2nd place standing.
Jimmy Graham I eat a bag of dicks award – Willie Lowman: Dear Jimmy, you lost again, and you did shitty again in case you forgot your password for the league. Can’t really fault him too much as his bench scored 0 total points so he did put his best team forward. I was happy to see that Starks was outplayed by Fatty Lacy, and despite Stafford and Johnson putting up decent numbers, VI couldn’t break 70 points.
Jock Slapper Award: It pains so much so to say this – yes, I ignored Rawl’s 42 points for the Uncle Charlie even after all the texts reminding us about his greatness from Deej all day Sunday, but I must give credit where it is due and the Jock Slapper goes to the Balls who slapped their balls all over VI. Crocket Gilmore, Panthers D and Good Andy carried the Balls to yet another Jock Slapper award. I only take solace in the fact that Matt Jones’ pedestrian 2 points gave you more gray hair and this is the start of your hatred for him.
Benchbomb: TBS and Marcus Marriota who, if he had started, would’ve pulled off the win (not like it really matters). Give him the trophy already, DJ.
P.S. I have repaired 5 Rosebuds already this year. Fun fact to ponder while eating turkey on Thursday. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
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