Aleppo Faith

In the name of Allah the most merciful, most the times, here is the newsletter from Aleppo Faith.

Fellow Fantasy Jihadists, I was recruited by David Miller to join your league two days prior to the draft, I was told I will be receiving a crash course, in 15 minutes, on the rules of the draft.  Draft went smoothly, as I just followed the app’s recommendations for players and the sign language of David Miller in picking my team.  That was my entire knowledge of what I needed to do, pick your team, sit back enjoy an old fashioned, and watch your team win.  Fucking Liar!!!!!  It turned out I have to “bench” players “trade” players, “Drop” players, and pretend I knew what I was doing in the process.   

To my surprise, I did Ok the first few games, until the Nolans in their newsletter called me out.  I started a player who was on BYE week, I never changed my logo, and I kept the name picked by DJ of “Aleppo Faith”.  That prompted me to start paying close attention to what I was doing, and it was downhill from there.  Yet even with my lack of football knowledge, I am doing better than, the Big Sandwich, Lobos Latinos, Wicked of Lately, and our worst team ever Limp Dixons.  

I have to wrap this up as I only have few minutes to finish, before the patient sitting in the room ,mouth wide open ,will start to notice the dentist is not in the room.

Stud of the week: Raging Polacks, Laura deserves this title not only for having the highest score, but for not listening or trading with DJ. Moreover, for making a kick ass chili.  At one point on Sunday, I recall Barrister’s Ball telling Raging Polacks: “  you have no chance of winning this week” .  well ,we all know who’s the boss of the Miller’s household. She proved him wrong, way to go Polacks!

The Willy Lowman:  For the entire season has been and will continue to be Limp Dixons.  Crop: “do you know what time football is?”  For those of you who don’t know, this is Crop’s exact words to me when I asked a simple question about football before. Way to go Crop, keep up the good work.  And Crop: أكل الخراء ويموت

Bench Bomb: I am going with Nolan’s United, 36 points from Dolphins,D/ST , VS 14 points from Seahawks.  Dunn Givashit thanks for your that decision.  Speaking of Nolans, we were told that we should ask you about Big Mac chance encounter in Vegas, which according to DJ is “Fucking Legendary” please share.

I am not sure if I followed the format as required, nor do I care.  But, I would like to end this letter with few quotes from a chain texts between Sam, DJ, Travis, E, Crop, and myself.  Enjoy

Sam to all “ I am not at mercy a-holes.  That being said. I’ve sent many ppl home in body bags.  If only Deej Knew. He’d be on rollin in $$$”

Crop to me “ do you know what time football usually starts Fadrick?”

Dj to Me “Fadi Bring me an old fashioned”

Sam to all “ Far Asia Vulterong the TD that hurts”  we still don’t know what he is trying to say

DJ to Sam “ Type in Farsi then”

Me to all “ Blame the mother fucking Syrian!!!”

DJ to all “ I’ll settle for a chest hair sandwich”

Travis to all “ Ellen Blessed Taco with a good fantasy team this week”

Travis to crop “ Crop I cant believe you had no player with more than 14 points. And only tow players with double digits”

Crop to Travis” you cant believe it? Is this the first time you’ve seen my team all year? They keep confusing fantasy football scores with golf scores”

DJ to all talking about Laura” she told me she wouldn’t trade with me if it were just the two of us in the league”

The Big Sandwich , you are up next