Week 5 - Today, Redemption is Spelled, T-A-C-O

If you remember, Week 4 saw 10 teams score in the triple digits.  Week 5 saw only five teams score in triple digits.  The only logical explanation for this drop off in league-wide production is the beginning of the bye week.   That, and the fact that as a league we started the likes of Jason Campbell, Dexter McCluster and LaRod Stephens-Howling - just to name a few.

Yes, Knowshon Moreno did score a touchdown.  That was real.  He has now boosted his season average to 2.8 points/week.  And yes, I still hate him.

As for the rest of the news in the league this week...

The Stud of the Week - William Wallace.  No, this is not a typo or an elaborate joke.  This is real life.  Taco's team finally showed its draft-day potential this week netting a league-high total of 121 points.  Jahvid Best simultaneously shredded the Bears defense and what's left of my soul Monday night running for a career-high 163 yards including an 88-yard touchdown scamper that derailed my inspired Calvin-Johnson-led comeback and ultimately won the week for WW.  That was the first 100-yard game and the highest fantasy total of Best's career.  Go figure.

The most puzzling result of the week: Eli Manning.  Eli might have thrown for three touchdowns and 420 yards, but he also threw three interceptions, fumbled twice and lost to the Seahawks in his home stadium.  How on Earth does that warrant 31 points?  There are some serious flaws with the scoring.  And, yes, I may be a little bitter.  I can't be certain, but I think this is WW's first appearance as the Stud of the Week.  Congrats, Caleb.  It's been a long time coming.

Honorable Mention - Vandalay Industries.  The reigning champ got serious contributions from Marshawn Lynch and David Bowie this week.  I wasn't even sure if Lynch was still in the league.  I thought he just retired after that playoff run against the Saints last year.  Good for him, though.  After starting 0-3, VI is slowly climbing out of that hole with two straight wins. He also started two Steelers this week - Issac Redman and Heath Miller, which means Jim is going to buy into this coincidence and talk exclusively in his all-too-good yinzer accent for the rest of the season.

The Willy Lowman of the Week - When you're kicker is the second-highest scorer on your team for a given week, there's a good chance you'll end up on the wrong side of the Newsletter.  Thus is the case for this week's Lowman - George Filopolopolous who managed only 72 points.  All but three of her players (Phillip Rivers, Michael Turner and Stephen Gostkowski) recorded only single-digit totals.  Peyton Manning is still not playing which makes the seven combined points from Dallas Clark and Reggie Wayne not at all surprising.  The only Colts scoring points are Curtis Painter and Pierre Garcon. 

Other than Stafford's 18 points, GF's bench only recorded five points, so there's not much that can be done to improve the situation at this point.  No one wants to see a team go 0-13, but GF is making a serious run at it.  Not only is her team not great, but she leads the league in Points Against (593). 

A wise fictional man once told me (and the millions of others who watched the film) that "hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."  So, there's that.

Honorable Mention(s) - Another tie.  The Big Mac Attack and Wicked of Lately both tallied 74 points.  These two are getting all too comfortable on this side of the Newsletter.  For Wicked of Lately, Antonio Brown was the only Steeler that didn't catch a touchdown this week and LT is still old.  The WL bench only mustered nine points as well, which gets even worse when you consider that eight of those points came from two bench defenses.  So, excluding useless back-up D/ST points and with bye weeks WL's bench only has one additional point.  Again, hope is a good thing.

The Big Mac Attack committed one of the most egregious non-moves of this fantasy season.  It has been reported to the Newsletter than BMA had been talking about starting (S)Cam Newton in favor of Tom Brady.  Apparently, he couldn't go through with that gutsy move because Tom Brady and his haircut started this week for his squad.  But, had Newton started as his owner had said he would, BMA would have won his match up with Dunn Givashit by one point.  Although, the two zeros posted in the RB2 and Flex positions didn't help much either. 

Obligatory Kicker Fact:
In case you hadn't noticed, there are no longer any undefeated teams left in the league.  The previously undefeated Chester Humpley lost to the Big Sandwich thanks in large part to the left foot of Sebastian Janikowski.  The bald Pollack kicked three field goals through the uprights from 50+ yards out and another from 42 yards.  His final box score:  4/4 (50, 54, 55 and 42) FGs and 1/1XP - good for 22 fantasy points.  Twenty-two points is tied for the 20th best total on the week.  From a kicker.

Pregnant Wives Making Poor Decisions:
I had the great pleasure of seeing both the Nolans and the MillerKuz's this Sunday at the Steeler game.  It was there that I was informed that both teams made terrible decisions at QB for this week.  The MillerKuz's went with the emotional pick, Jason Campbell, instead of Curtis Painter.  The Nolans, even more egregiously, started Mark Sanchez in favor of Ben "Five-Touchdowns" Roethlisberger.  I was later told that both wives made those decisions and the husbands obliged.  Now, whether that is the truth or not, I'll leave each of you to decide.  I just report what I'm told.  Only nerds fact-check.  The lesson, as always: if you make a mistake in fantasy (or in life), blame it on your wife.

Bench Bomb of the Week:
Where bench points are worse than no points.  This week the Bomb goes to Whore Hands for benching the Law Firm - Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis.  Can't really fault the Hands here because the Jets were supposed to be good against the run.  But, Plaxico Burress was suppose to be able to catch footballs still too, so really, who knows.  Twenty-seven points is a lot, but when Adrian Peterson is running through Cardinal defenders for three touchdowns and over 100 yards, it really doesn't matter much.  But a bomb is a bomb.