But before we get into the playoff match ups, let's recap the week that was.
The Tale of Two Jimmys
No surprise here, but Jimmy - he of TBS fame - Big Benned his way to another Stud of the Week crown. Another impressive total of 187.2 points and even more impressive is that his bench scored 92.5 points as well. Big Ben and The Antonio Brown Show combined for 70.3 points. Special shout outs to the Indianapolis Colts who forgot that they played a competitive football game Sunday night downtown. As always, this league is TBS' world and we're all just living in it. As a wise man once said (today, via text) "They're playing for second though." He wasn't talking about TBS, but then again, maybe he was. TBS is this league's Jordan Smith. We're all just playing for second.
We're all playing for second. That's true. Unless your Jimmy (aka Jamblow) - he of VI infamy.
Dear Jamblow,
Your team is so bad I can't even make a joke about it. Your starters BARELY edged out TBS' bench. Congrats on another Willy Lowman title. Out of 13 weeks, your team scored less than 100 points 5 times. That is not good. Maybe next year you'll draft a real team wearing a jersey that spells your team's name correctly.
Sincerely,
Knuckle Junction
Your names might both be Jimmy but you are worlds 528.4 points apart.
Beer Muscles - Nolan United
The Nolans probably feel real good about themselves right about now. They finished one spot ahead of their arch-nemesis (KJ) and haven't lost a match up in 6 weeks. So, it's a good thing I'm here.
Out of the 8 playoff teams, the Nolans have tallied the second fewest points (DG). Out of the 12 teams in this league, only one team (RP) had fewer points scored against their squad. You made the playoffs, congrats. But even I feel strong after a couple of drinks.
(Permanent Do Better Chair - Raging Pollacks. Your team was scored on less than any other team this year. By a wide margin (49.1 points). Given this, there is simply no excuse that makes it acceptable for your squad to miss the playoffs in this league. Do better.
Those two things together sound a whole lot like luck. It's true that it's better to be lucky than good. But then again, its better to be lucky AND good. Let's ask Fadi - he's scored the 4th most points in this league and only 3 teams have been scored upon less. Yes, Fadi. You're lucky and good-ish. Congrats. I hope you're ready for a first round exit.
All this to say that Nolan will be enjoying an early playoff exit if reality decides to crash the bracket this year. But I guess every bracket needs a Cinderella. Consider this your annual reminder that The University of Dayton Flyers were in the Elite 8 two tournaments ago.
Boned Toner
Only 4 teams have scored more points than Toner's Boner's this year, and, yet, TB finds himself on the outside looking in of this year's playoffs. Talk about a bitter pill to swallow.
Further, only two teams had the misfortune of seeing more points scored against them (KJ and VI). Thus proving my theory that people always have their best weeks against yours truly. The world hates me. But, back to TB, his luck has been the exact opposite of the Nolan's this year. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy. Here's hoping you score the fourth-most points next year and still miss the playoffs.
So the match ups are as follows:
TBS v. Dunn
Fadi v. Knuckle
Dix v. Nolan
Taco v. Balls
Also, I have been advised to invite anyone who may care to have fun this Sunday to come to Fadi's house with other league members to enjoy some pizza, wings and hopefully soul-crushing victories and losses. I promise Fadi invited all of you. I advised against it, but it is his house after all. So, come. Fadi also informs us that he does, in fact, get the football channels.
The highest scorer of playoff teams will write the newsletter next week. Here's hoping KJ pens his third newsletter next week.
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