Week 8 - All Saints Day includes Tebow

This early edition of the Newsletter is courtesy of All Saints Day.  It's a mysterious holy day of obligation which really is just a fancy way to say Catholic schools aren't open for business. 

The real mystery, however, is how the New Orleans Saints could lay such an egg so close to their holiday.  The Rams, really?  The Rams led by A.J. Feeley?  I mean, come on.  That's the opposite of "jock-slapping," Jimmy Graham.  That's just embarrassing.  Almost as embarrassing as losing to the Nolans because you picked the wrong D/ST.  Right, Travis?  Switch those defenses and you win by one.  That's brutal.  Brutal and hilarious.

As for the rest of the news around the league in Week 8...

Stud of the Week - In the immortal words of Terrel Owens, "I love me some me."  Knuckle Junction rules all that the eye can see.  Okay, maybe that's Mufasa and Simba.  But at the very least, KJ ruled Week 8.  The startling 160 is a new season high for the league.  (Note:  The highest total in MillerKuz League history was the 178 posted by Wicked of Lately last season.)  The 160 to The Big Sandwich's 70 also swings the season total points race in KJ's favor.  Eight weeks, 962 points.

Four players posted totals of 20 or greater and the Lions D/ST put up 46 points, which is the highest single total for any player not named Aaron Rodgers or Arian Foster this year.  The real genius this week was starting Tim Tebow for a second consecutive week.  If you hadn't noticed, KJ has some QB issues.  Taking a chance on Tebow paid off in a big way.  Not only did he record 15 points of his own, but he also is responsible for almost every single point the Lions D/ST managed to get.  He was sacked 7 times.  He fumbled twice.  One was returned for a TD.  He threw an interception.  It was returned 100 yards for a TD.  How many other QB's can contribute 61 points to a team in a single week?  None QB's.  I guess it is true; Tim Tebow was sent by God to save us all. 

Honorable Mention - Anyone still want to hate on The Hump?  Eight weeks in and he has only lost twice.  He recorded 128 points this week.  He even managed to sit Greg Little.  He is also humping his way up the total points for column of the standings.  He's currently in fifth place, 30 points behind Whore Hands.  Watch out Ryan, your Hands are about to get Humped. 

The Willy Lowman of the Week - Honestly, I think I've run out of ways to discuss William Wallace.  WW is the Lowman of the Week every week.  Unless, of course, you count that one week where he played me and was the Stud.  But he's the Lowman or Honorable Mention on this end of the Newsletter every single week, including this week where he only managed to post 68 total points.

This just in: Joe Flacco hasn't been good since he threw three TD's to some clown named Torrey Smith.  He lost to Blane Gabbert and the Jacksonville Jaguars last Monday on national television.  Surely WW gets ESPN.  Eli Manning is just sitting on his bench breathing awkwardly through his mouth and putting up points.  Give the kid a shot.  Also, under normal circumstances, I have no problem with Jordy Nelson getting a start.  Nelson and the Packers on a bye, however, certainly qualifies as an abnormal circumstance which warrants his relegation to the bench. 

Honorable Mention - The Big Sandwich finds themselves on the bad side of the letter.  When TBS loses, they lose hard.  I've always said excuses are just reasons why you aren't good at something, but in this case, I'm willing to offer some in defense of TBS.  Going into Week 8 Aaron Rodgers was the first-ranked QB in fantasy under our scoring and Matt Forte was the highest-ranked RB.  Both of those players are owned by TBS.  Both of those players were on byes.  Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.  But, sometimes, its even better to be lucky AND good.  KJ would like to thank the scheduling body that be for the double-bye-week magic.  May Tebow be with you.

Statistics That Prove You Shouldn't Own Some Football Players in Fantasy:
I bet The Big Mac Attack thought he'd escape the wrath of the Newsletter this week since he (barely) beat out the bottom two finishers.  Wrong.  While watching the early Sunday games, I noticed at one point that Reggie Bush had rushed for more than 100 yards.  I immediately wondered, out loud, how many times Bush had surpassed 100 yards rushing in one game.  The Hump answered my originally rethorical question thanks to his careful reading of all things scrolling on the bottom of the screen at all times.  Reggie Bush has rushed for 100 yards in a single game exactly twice.  This past Sunday being the second.  That's an atrocity.  If Reggie Bush is ever on my team, please disqualify me from the League.  I mean it.  At least Reggie still has a Heisman Trophy to his name.  Well, I mean, he had to be good in high school, right?

On This Episode of The Wire:
Wicked of Lately continues to grind his face off on the Wavier Wire.  He's hustled his way to another victory this week over the aforementioned Big Mac Attack.  He's lucky it was BMA though because the Wire hasn't all been great for WL.  Two pick-ups who were immediately inserted as starters combined for 0 points.  One was a RB and one was a TE.  Alphonso Smith and Daniel Fells were both a swing and a miss this week for WL, but the effort, as always is appreciated.  In another Waiver news, the artist formally known as Peyton Manning has finally been dropped into the Free Agent tab were he belongs this year, and maybe well into the future or forever.  Suck for Luck is fully on in Indy because, among other reasons, it is my sneaky suspicion that Peyton will never throw another pass as a QB in the NFL. 

Look Out For The Nolans:
Since sorting out their starting QB issues, the Nolans have been on a mini-tear.  They have won two games in a row, totalling 100+ points each time.  The resurgence of the Steeler's passing game, the recovered hamstring of Arian Foster and the defensive renaissance occurring in San Fransisco are helping to boost the Nolans through the mediocre muck of the standings.  They currently reside in sixth place in the overall league standings with a mark of 5-3.  We may be rivals, but even I can't hate on this impressive mini-streak. 

Elsewhere in the life of Nolan, I have been informed the Nolans gave birth to a healthy baby girl,  Rory Claire Stipanovich.  I don't know where the Stipanovich comes from, but I've been assured that this is the Nolan's child.  Also, she was measured in at a hair under 6 feet.  But at any rate, both mom and new daughter are healthy.  We at the Newsletter would like to welcome Rory to the League.  Hopefully she'll help Mom and Dad keep Davone Bess out of the starting line up.